Throughout our lives we get messages about our worth that leave us feeling less than, in so many ways. As children we are told we are deficient in knowledge. Children are, in fact, deficient in knowledge. Brains are not fully developed until we are 24-26 years old and we have to learn things first and then get smart. Children are always being told it works the other way around and end up feeling unworthy and unloveable and deficient as they grow into adulthood.
People in their 40s and 60s and 70s still seeing themselves as that bad and stupid child who stole something from a teacher’s desk or disappointed their parents or failed in a class in grade school or high school, even though they have lived exemplary lives for longer than their 18 years of childhood “stupidity”.
Our families, our communities, the media and our peers can help or hinder our self esteem and development. We are told we need to learn to love ourselves. We go through life trying to find our way, our path, our true self. Often there is no direction and no guidance in this process. Life is, quite simply, a journey and sometimes everyone needs a tour guide to keep from heading the down the same troublesome roads time after time.
So many people come into my office feeling hopeless about their lives and relationships. They have tried so many things and can’t seem to figure it all out. They believe themselves to be lost causes.
The game isn’t over yet. In fact, it’s never over. I believe we are all born precious. At any time, any day, we can redefine ourselves and choose a different path. We can learn to value our preciousness. My life has been devoted to this belief and my work with others has helped me challenge others to do the work they need to do to feel empowered to be the best person they want to be.
My work with my clients is all about helping people examine where they’ve come from, what has molded them, and then choose where they want to go. There are many ways to do this but all roads lead to Rome. Some people don’t want to talk about certain aspects of their past, just want to make changes for their future. We can do that. Some people want to work through old traumas to clean the slate, let go of old pains and resentments and live a new life free of it all. We can do that too.
We all want to love and value ourselves, find peace and enjoy building and maintaining healthy and rewarding relationships. The goal is to see our own preciousness and respect the preciousness of others. What do you think you need to do to get there?
We are always evolving. Learning and growing. Even when we’re not paying attention.
When you are ready to start your journey towards figuring it all out, contact me and the other clinicians at Edina Counseling Center and schedule an intake to plot your course.