Ever feel like your relationship keeps veering off course and you’re powerless to change it much less understand how it’s happening? In your relationships with people who say they love you do you keep walking away feeling crazy and hurt? Do they tell you it’s all your problem?
You can learn better skills on assessing what’s happening and how to deal with it! There are many great books and resources (check my recommended reading list) about how people behave in unhealthy ways. You owe it to yourself to educate yourself, learn methods for taking charge of your own communication even in a “crazy” relationship, and make informed choices about who you want to invest your time and heart with. You can’t really diagnose them (it can even take a trained therapist a year to do that with some folks), but you can start to see patterns and strategies and work your way out of a dysfunctional relationship!
If you don’t know the kinds of strategies people use to confuse and harm you, then you will not have much of a chance in defending yourself. In fact, you might even start to act just like they do which gives them the opportunity to blame it all on you. Read about how verbally abusive relationships work. Read about how to set healthy functional boundaries. Learn to esteem yourself regardless of what others think. Learn to be your authentic self whether or not anyone agrees. Figure out how to be The Best Person YOU Want To Be. Learn to be moderate and not follow others down the path of reacting in extremes.
When you know this stuff, it will all seem clearer and you can make a healthy choice for yourself.