Many of us think about changing our lives but think it’s impossible. After all, we’ve been this way forever and made so many mistakes, it must be just who we are. Maybe you’ve tried a few new things and it didn’t go so well, maybe you’ve given up hope that you can have new beginnings, thinking each day you have to accept the fate you were given as a child and have no options or control. Maybe we think that we can’t do it perfectly and believe being perfectly imperfect is not good enough. We are not esteeming who we are and feel hopeless. We think it’s too late for a new beginning. Too late to be our true self.
Be conscious every day. Observe yourself. Observe others. What is happening? What does it all mean? What can you live with and what needs to go?
As you stay aware and allow yourself to decide what you like and what you don’t, it will become clearer to you who you want to be and what you want your daily life to look like and feel like. And if you allow yourself to choose, there will be days you will choose to let some things go and change what and who you let into your life. (Read the linked article) You will be done “accepting” and forge forward into creating your own life.
In my life there have been so many times that I observed an interaction between people and thought, “I’d never do that, be that person, let anyone treat me that way…” But then, on another day, I’d find myself doing it or letting someone else do it to or around me. What kept me scared of standing up and speaking my truth was fear of being turned on and shamed or physically hurt, or not liked. When I became aware of this in myself I realized I didn’t like being this person and was left with a guilt hangover. Guilt is what we feel when we act outside of our value system. I want to be able to feel good about my choices and behaviors so I work hard to, as much as possible, choose to do things in a way that allows me to leave feeling happy and proud. I try to set boundaries that allow me to feel connected and protected.
Not everyone will like it when you change. People will try to get you to change back. People will tell you that you are too controlling, want everything your own way, that you’re ruining your friendships and being a bad person. But your life is not about them, it’s about you! You can always find people who are like you or who like you just the way you are. Why stay in relationships with people who always bring you down and you end up unhappy? Why put up with people at work and strangers in public who treat you and others with disrespect and try to tell you who to be?
Decide for yourself: What’s the best person I want to be? And then be that. That’s where the joy and peace live. Sometimes it’s personal and sometimes it’s political but it’s always best for us to live in accordance with our beliefs and values.